Archive for February 10, 2018

Is there ever a time to crush someone’s creative dream? Well the answer to that question is yes, and no. Let me explain. Have you ever watched American Idol? Now not after it’s down to the live shows when everyone is good. No I’m talking about the auditions, especially in the early seasons when they showed a lot of the most untalented people. Some of these people were frankly delusional. They thought they had talent, everyone told them they were good, but any listening person saw they were not even close. They left the auditions either crushed and devastated, flipping our angrily, or determined to try again next year.

I was one of these people. No I never auditioned for Idol, I was already too old for that when the show came on and by then I had had my rude awakening, but I did play in a band once, for about two weeks. I was a bass player, well sort of. I stank. I couldn’t even tune my own instrument, but that didn’t matter, I wanted to be a rock star and someone once told me I could do anything I put my mind to. They lied.

Here’s the thing, you can’t do anything you want to do. You can do anything you’re designed to do. I was not created to be a musician and maybe someone should have crushed my dream. Heck somebody did. I found out our rhythm guitarist was asked to take over on bass, essentially pushing me out. Thing is it was the best thing anyone could have done for me, but it was painful.

If I had worked my tail off, all day every day I might have been able to become a nominal bass player, but who wants to be nominal? Should we crush someone’s dream. On one hand, if we don’t, sooner or later someone will, and they might not be so kind about it, or worse we’ll continue slogging away in a fantasy, when we could be creating a great reality. I tend to shy away from dream crushing because art is so subjective. If I’m Bringing Sexy Back would have been Justin Timberlake’s first song, I would have crushed that dream and fast. It’s awful, but the NFL and a lot of screaming fans seem to disagree. What I like instead of dream crushing is something I call loving redirection. When someone found my gift of art and redirected me toward it, especially when related to ministry, I thrived. I found my niche and I am happier today than I have ever been. I’ve had so many dreams in my life, and a lot of them got crushed, but some of those things simply had to go, and others had to happen to build my skills to position me.

Failure is a great teacher, and a great guide. If you see someone trying really hard at something but the aptitude isn’t there, don’t crush them. Instead look for the good in them and give them the opportunity to succeed.

It’s called loving redirection. It’s good leadership and done well it benefits all involved. Pass it on!