Confession time: I have no idea why I ended up creating this image, except that I saw it in a dream, and it was so real that when I woke up, I knew I had to actually create it. Now in the dream, I was sculpting it in clay because I was going for a rough hewn look, but I have no idea why on that front either. When something is that real in a dream, I usually try to record it. I mean I have my suspicions. This is very much how I used to feel—square peg in a round hole. In gym class in elementary and middle school, I was usually the last one picked. (By the way, if you’re a gym teacher, this way of picking teams stinks and y’all ought to get creative and think of something better.) In high school, I had a growth spurt and I got a lot faster, but by that time my lack of popularity usually covered over my newfound speed and I was still near the back in a lot of things. As I got older, in the working world, I didn’t often feel like I was ever good enough, nor would I ever be, and while I kept trying and trying hard, I kind of gave up inside. Yes there were a lot of times where I felt like the last in line.
The reason I’m not sure why I created this now, is because, for the first time in my life, I don’t feel like this. I feel like I’ve found my place and my zone. I’m feeling better, and I’m happier than I have ever been. The things I’m doing now really matter and maybe that’s the point of this exercise. I’m not the last one picked anymore, but I sense it’s more. You see one of the things that always helped me through my problems was helping other people and maybe that’s what this is about. I can tell you at times this life has been a painful journey, but I will also say this, it gets better, so hold on and keep trying. I just recently wrote a book that talks about God and the fine art of measuring up and this is key. In this life, where you get your identity matters. For years I started to identify myself as the “last one picked” and it became a self fulfilling prophecy, but you know what? It wasn’t true. I have a wonderful wife, and she picked me and together we had two wonderful kids. More than that, I have a Savior who loves me so much He laid down His life and died on a cross for me. He loves you too. You can have Him too, and while He didn’t make all my struggles go away, He gave me someone to trust through them. I got through because of His love and the love of some very special people around me.
You might feel like you’re the last one picked, but you’re not. Before you were ever even born, God knew you. He loves you and He has a plan for you. He picked you. The painful trials and struggles of today make up a story that will one day look like victory, and when you get there, they will help you help many. Trust Him now and ask Him to help you. You’re not the last one picked and I have a feeling that’s why I had to make this image.
Author’s note: Sometimes these posts are really a stream of consciousness as I work my way through a thought. This post, which had its start in a dream is one such post. Where often I will edit this out and work from the conclusion, I decided to leave this one as is, in hopes that seeing me come to the conclusion will bless someone.
AMOKArts 