Last night I went to my class reunion. We did something unique this year. The organizers decided to open it up to five years of graduating classes which turned out to be quite a nice evening of reconnecting. What struck me was on the way home and now today, something was different… something is different. I’ve always had a good time while I was at the event. I’ve been to all but one (maybe two) of the reunions, and they’ve always been nice, but afterwards I’d slip into this sort of melancholy. I could never quite figure it out. I think I have now.
It’s quite simple really… I’m happy. You see in the past, I felt like I had most of my ducks in a row. Great wife, great kids, little house in the country. Those parts of my life have always been great, but there was one piece that never really clicked. I never felt like I was living up to my potential. Oh I was doing some interesting things, but I never really felt like they mattered that much. I was making art. I had jobs that paid the bills. I was even doing ministry, but it always felt like I wasn’t really hitting my stride in any of those areas. I’d hear other people’s stories and think man I wish I had done better here or changed this or done that. I wondered what might have been had I finished my degree or made a different career decision or maybe just applied myself. This year was different.
It’s not so much that I feel like I’ve arrived. It isn’t that I feel like I’ve conquered the world. Again, really simply, I’m happy. I’m looking forward to more growth and more learning and hopefully gaining more ground for the Kingdom. I have no desire to rest on my laurels but there is finally some contentment and peace. I’m happy.
The sad thing is I could have been happy all along. I just needed a little more gratitude and a willingness to enjoy the journey. Please learn that lesson. It will make you (and everyone around you) a lot happier.