I know what you might be thinking, but this is not about revenge. A friend online asked a question about whether or not the people in her circle were buried in school. Suffice it to say I was, and pretty brutally and pretty often. The results were not pretty. I started to feel like I deserved that kind of treatment. I started to feel like there was something wrong with me. I believed the voices inside my self that told me I was worthless and it would never get any better. I was a loser and I always will be. My confession is, even having been through healing and even though I am pretty old for this, there are still days when that voice rattles around in my mind. The results in my younger life were alcoholism and frequent thoughts of suicide. My childhood was not pretty.

Now this is not to say everyone did this to me, though there were many, there were a few who showed me kindness. I owe those people a great deal and quite possibly I owe them my life. But there is another group of people I owe.

I owe the jerks, the bullies, the villains in my story and I owe them a lot. Again it’s not revenge. It’s a sort of twisted gratitude. You see today my life is much better. Someone care enough to introduce me to Jesus (I owed her so much I married her) and someone else showed me that my talents were gifts from God to be used to His glory. I owe him to. Of course I owe my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ everything and more, but I owe the jerks too. See as all this healing came into play, and my gifts came into focus, I became an artist and a preacher and a story teller. People bring me in all over the country share the Gospel and my presentations usually include my story, my testimony. Without the jerks, there’s no story and my story has helped a lot of people. The Bible says “…In all things God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose.” That word All means all, even the destructive actions of others.

So if you’re in the midst of a hard time right now, be careful what you do. There’s a story being written in your life and while it may be hard, the testimony makes the pain make sense. So persevere and share your story. You never know what good it will do. It gets better, a lot better!

By the way, if you were a jerk to me, I forgive you and I hope you’ve found peace. I found mine in Jesus. He is the purpose in the pain.

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