It hit me today. I don’t know what brought it to mind and it happened a long time ago. Someone had broken my trust and did something terrible. I had nothing to do with what they did and if I had known I would have stopped it, but I didn’t know. When it came to light, I was a mixture of anger, hurt, rage and more questions than I knew what to do with. I thought I’d made my peace with it and moved on. I remembered just after finding out, I was scheduled to do my presentation called Forgiven. I got to the end, the part where I offer to pray for people who need help with forgiveness, and discovered it would have been hypocritical for me to pray for them, the wound was fresh and my emotions were raw, so instead I offered to pray with the people as in pray for each other and it was moving.
Then today it hit me, before long I found myself wallowing in pain and anger and thoughts I could not let go. It was brutal and it was ugly and when my heart and mind goes there, one thing I know for sure, I am not the man I want to be, and one more thing. The wounds felt as fresh as the day they were inflicted. It was like reliving it all over again. That’s what unforgiveness does to us. It allows us to live through stuff over and over and over again. Jesus wants more for us. He wants us to be free. He died to make us free and so the key to unforgiveness is really simple. We need to go back to the source of forgiveness as often as it takes, until it takes hold. Forgiveness is not letting someone off the hook. It’s not volunteering to be a door mat. It’s giving the wrong to God and allowing Him to deal with it while we move forward in freedom.
If I could change what happened, I would, but I can’t. So what can I do instead. I can step up. I can be different and I can make a difference. I can do what I do the right way. I can use my gifts as an agent of change and freedom. I can be light in a dark world and I can lead a movement to make the world a better place. I can do my part in mobilizing and motivating the church of Jesus Christ to be the culture impacting body we are supposed to be. I can use my gifts to serve others. I can make disciples of Christ. I can love the broken. I can bring people to the truth that will set us free and most importantly I can glorify God by throwing away my excuses and trusting Him to do everything I can’t.
Unforgiveness will keep me from all of that and it will keep you from it too,
Unforgiveness has to go!