I often tell you about what to do and how to make this creative arts ministry thing work. Today is confession time—time for a little brutal honesty. I still struggle with jealousy. There’s an event I would love to be part of, and for some reason, I can’t manage to swing an invitation to present. It’s nothing personal, but sometimes I wonder when will I reach the level where I would get invited. It seems like after having written all the books and the thousands of blog posts and the hundreds of speaking engagements and having worked pretty tirelessly at this for a really long time (18 years +) that I should soon reach the level where bringing me in would be a no-brainer. I hate to say it but I’m a little jealous.
Then there are the times when the big ministries who do what I do get a call to my area and I think, “Why not me?” They have all these resources and I am tiny by comparison (ah, there’s a danger word, “comparison”). They could have saved money and I would have given them something just as good, maybe even better. That may or may not be true, but once again, I’m jealous.
The thing is, I know I shouldn’t be. You probably shouldn’t either. If you read the above paragraphs, you might be sensing a sense of entitlement. “I’ve done all this work and I deserve this.” That’s not how it works. If I’m doing all that I do so people will notice me and so I become a big deal, that’s not a proper motivation. This is ministry. I’m supposed to be working to the glory of God. I’m supposed to be working to my neighbor’s good. I’m supposed to be using my gifts to serve others and most importantly I am supposed to be trusting God to take my ministry where He wants it to go. Sometimes it’s pretty obvious to me that His thoughts are not my thoughts and His ways are not my ways. This is one of those days, but the Spirit is at work even as I write these Words.
Jealousy is really useless and faithless. If I focus on what I don’t have, I will become less grateful for what I do and I have a lot. God continues to bless this ministry. God has provides me with a wonderful church, an amazing family, great opportunities for ministry and more blessings than I could ever deserve. If I give up worrying about what I don’t have, I have an easier time trusting God with the trajectory of my ministry. He’s proven faithful over and over again.
So here’s where I stand. God can open this door if He wants to, but I’m not going to worry about it. I am going to wish the other ministries well and keep moving forward regardless. Only God understands the size and scope of this ministry and so I will trust Him to know where I need to be. Oh and one other thing, I will praise Him with gratitude for every single person who interacts with this ministry, everyone who reads these posts, brings me in, and connects with me in any way. Serving the Lord is a privilege.
I don’t think I shared this just for me. I pray it blesses you.