I was talking to a dear and trusted friend about some of the great things that are happening in my ministry right now, especially related to A Night AMOK. I said, most sincerely that I am having fun. She challenged me on that a little bit, thinking fun might be “trivializing” it a bit (my word not hers). Because she is such a trusted friend, I took her comment to heart and began trying to redefine it by explaining how I am feeling.
I’ve expressed before on this blog how when I am doing things like A Night AMOK, I feel like I am doing what I was created to do. It’s one of the most exhilarating things I’ve ever done. I described the feeling I get as I am doing these paintings as an almost child-like joy and that’s when it hit me. At 48 I am doing what I dreamed of doing as a small child.
I remember being a child and making art, writing and telling stories and acting things out. I dreamed of making movies though that was outside the realm of possibility for a little kid in the early seventies. My school years were pretty terrible and most of that was driven from me or beaten out of me by my peers. I spent a lot of years wandering around trying to figure out who I was. When I look at A Night AMOK and a lot of the other things I’m doing now, I realize the Lord has restored my childhood dream to me. Thing about it. I am painting large pictures, using them to tell stories combined with “movies” I’ve made. I’m even acting. God had given me back what the enemy has stolen and with His help I will use it to His glory for the rest of my life or until He tells me to stop. My life has come full circle.
My friend was right, fun is too trivial for what is happening to me right now, but I really am enjoying every moment.
God is good!